the start of the New Year, we are given the opportunity to re-set and
bring forth new intentions. Perhaps right now, you are not yet where
you want to be in life. Perhaps you feel anxious about your personal
environment and community. Perhaps you are concerned for the state of
our planet. It is not unusual to feel such things after the holiday
season and especially if you are in the season of winter, where the
energetic emphasis is more on our internal experience. But I urge you,
as this new chapter of life begins, to set your intent to embrace the
feeling and energy of Hope. Hope is a spark of light that is inside all
of us; sometimes we remember and can recall where it is and sometimes it
feels completely burnt out. If we can embrace more Hope, we will feel
lighter, more positive, and will be able to take steps forward. Hope
reminds us that we are worthy, that we can make a difference, and most
importantly, that everything is exactly how it is meant to be. So, even
if things in your world feel dark and difficult right now, search within
to find that spark, that light, the energy that is Hope.
all the purging, moving and change that I have been doing the last few
months, I am starting to feel the energies of re-birthing, not just
internally, but in my environment also. This has been occurring in my
life in many different ways. Here are some main points, that you might
*Life feels more positive and hopeful
*More motivated to work on things that I have been wanting to work on for a while and have not had an opportunity to work on
* Strong and persistent feelings to do something creative and to manifest them
*New opportunities arise - keep an eye out for all the new things that come your way, as the universe gives you the options for you to choose your next steps
*A new identity is emerging - re-birthing can appear in a new sense of style, and re-decorating your home in order to express your internal changes externally.
The energies of re-birth are certainly times to enjoy, celebrate and savor as you create and establish the next chapter in your book of life. So, who is with me in feeling the rebirth energy right now? Let me know in the comments below.
Photo and editing credit: Luis Cabrera Suarez and Diamond Multimedia Productions
Dear Beautiful Ones,
It has been quite some time since I have checked in with you. I feel
like I have been suspended in a bubble and have become quite still, as
death, infections, chaos, confusion and uncertainty from the Covid-19
Coronavirus Global Pandemic has swirled around me in New York State and
on the planet. All of this has shocked and changed my world as I know
it. For the past six weeks I have been unable to access my office due
to the danger and the Governor’s orders to stay at home, in the
government’s attempt to curb both the infection rate, and the death rate
(which soared as high as over 800 people per day at one point). All of
the work, volunteer activities, traveling and social activities that I
had been doing were stripped away from me in a moment. I feel that I
have literally become unplugged, disconnected, and feel like a boat
drifting on the water. My world changed overnight. I have not been this
“idle” in years. Some of this time reminds me of summer vacations that I
had in grade school although I do have more responsibility now. I have
spent my time connecting to the earth and nature elements, exercising,
meditation, shopping for food, doing laundry and cleaning, running
errands, and keeping in touch with friends and family. I have gotten
into as comfortable a routine as possible; as I mentioned, it’s like I
have put myself into a bubble.
In the midst of all of this, some interesting things have happened, and I feel it is important to share as we are all in the world and on some level all of us are experiencing the effects of the Covid-19 Coronavirus. As a result of becoming inert and still, I felt an instantaneous decompression start to happen. I realized just how tired I have been of running around and “doing” and being “busy” all of these years in my life. For so many years my work as an attorney has been to help people in trauma. Suddenly, I was not able to work in this capacity as I have done for so many years. And being away from this, I realize just how much of working with my clients and dealing with the demands of the legal system has impacted me and how much pressure I have been under all of these years. Also, being in the time of stillness, I have had time to slowly almost painstakingly observe every detail, every minutiae of life, of the wondrous details of just Being. I have been asked by the Universe to BE in the moment and to experience the very simple things in life. Connecting to nature and the elements have been very key to keep me centered and feel as balanced as possible; I have done this by jogging in the morning, followed by afternoon walks with friends, and also through meditation. Although I had been able to write two professional pieces that had deadlines, I had not been able to to channel and write for LyonHart Amrie. I felt frozen; nothing was forthcoming. I felt if I tried to write something and put something out, that it would not be authentic because no words or ideas were coming through and out. Instead, I have been feeling a range of emotions, and doing huge amounts of introspection and reflecting on life, going deeply internal. I must say I have been feeling waves of fears come up in me in about the future because of the pause, not working, and being disconnected from all of the activities that I do. There is no more frantic work schedule and volunteer activities; no more traveling or visits to friends; there are no longer long commutes of three to four hours per day. There has been no more intense and draining work time of helping clients who are in trauma and rushing to meet ever-looming and impending deadlines. All of this is gone. Suddenly, I find myself in my apartment day in and day out, just well, Being. It’s as if the plug to my life has become unplugged, the wind has been knocked out of my sail, and I am literally being forced and told to slow down and relax - to not do, but rather, to just BE.
Even though I am being told to just BE, I still have to live in the very real world and so some “doing” is required. For instance, I had to write two professional pieces for one of my volunteer activities that had deadlines, and I was able to write them.
But again, Spirit was asking me to just BE, to not do (like write for LyonHart Amrie) as I felt like I should have been, but to rather just stop. Instead of writing and doing, I have been walking on the earth plane, absorbing the amazing energies of it, I have gone to many beautiful parks and locales in the past six weeks absorbing the incredible earth energy from all over. I have been asked to stop and look at the trees, flowers, rocks, rivers, the sound, lakes, wildlife, all kinds of birds. I have been asked to feel and soak in the rays of the sun, to feel the wind that blows against my body, to even feel the rain and snow showers. I have been asked to just BE and to coexist with the existence of the Earth, to just BE and experience being on this earth plane, in this infinite universe, infinity, and beyond. And I have been asked to BE in the midst of not being able to properly work from home, not being able to see clients, and in the midst of uncertainty. I have been asked to just BE while being disconnected from my usual routines and activities (work, volunteer, travel, and social), activities which are affirming to me and give me a sense of worth and purpose and belonging as a person. I am being asked by Spirit to come forth and be in this world in a new way, a very new way. And this request feels daunting and scary, but at the same time feels exciting and new, and gives me a glimmer of hope of something to come.
I do not have all of the answers yet about how I am going to come through and change in this situation; it is a work in progress. I am going step by step, and taking things one thing at a time. So, I must ask myself, ‘Who am I BEING?” “How am I BEING during this crisis when so many are suffering?” “Am I BEING patient, empathetic, kind, first and foremost with myself and then with other people?” So too it would be good to ask each of ourselves as many of us are in the same boat, and so this is a good time for introspection, Who are you BEING? How are you BEING? Are you BEING the kind of person that you want to be? Are you BEING the kind of person that will help you forge and create the next stage of your reality and life? I realize that for some of you, you are busier and more overwhelmed than ever due to the nature of your work and circumstances at home, but you can do this exercise too. Take a few minutes to find a quiet time to reflect. If you are reading this I hope you can find a few minutes to reflect on who you are BEING. Are you using this time and opportunity right now to BE patient, empathetic and compassionate with yourselves? Are you giving yourself encouragement and pep-talks and letting yourselves know that things will work out? Are you feeling fearful, angry, sad, loss? How are you working through this? These are important emotions, it is good to get in touch with our emotions and feelings and to get in touch with how we are BEING. Is there anything you want to change about the way you are BEING? How we are BEING plays a huge role in how we view and respond to the world. So take some time to go in and reflect, and let’s circle back around and be in touch. I will be back soon.
I have continued my journey with Seahorse, I have been
feeling its healing powers of androgyny. I have also been marveling at
the unique fact that male seahorses actually carry the eggs of the
female in their own pouches, until it is time for their baby seahorses
to emerge fully developed. Out of the entire animal kingdom, male
seahorses are the only males that undergo pregnancy and
give birth to their offspring, and so there is something really
powerful here to absorb from this incredible and special ability.
In recent times, attitudes towards gender roles have changed within mainstream society and the world is slowly becoming more fluid with what is deemed as male and female. Underlying this change there has been a historic shift in the mass consciousness, with the Feminine Principle coming more into balance and acceptance, after it has endured thousands of years of persecution and suppression. This change has created deep healing with the psyche of the earth and slowly within all of us. The acceptance of the Feminine Principle has allowed for a much more balanced environment of the male and female energies to co-exist and be recognized as a whole, and this is what leads us into androgyny.
Most people in life are looking for someone to complete themselves; perhaps they are looking for their “missing piece.” I believe, however, that when we can heal and come into balance with both our male and female energies, that the desire to find something externally is not so strong. Relationships can become more authentic, as souls come together, because it is enjoyable, rather than based on the NEED to be with a male to fill the lack of male energy within, or the need to be with a female to fill the lack of female energy within. We all know that when we feel more balanced and complete as a person, that we are happier and healthier, we make better choices from our hearts, and life is less complicated.
If we look at the yin and yang symbol, it is the male and female in perfect balance, encapsulated by the circle. The yin and yang symbol shows that we cannot look for someone else to complete us. Rather, we have to go inside and work on ourselves, heal, and find the male and female balance within. When we are able to this, then we are complete, and can connect into our true and Higher Selves.
Like anything in life, this type of evolutionary journey takes time, energy and the commitment to self-growth. Whatever stage you are at with your relationships, your internal male and female balance, or your personal feelings of wanting to “complete yourself,” a Transference Healing session can help you. Old pains, past memories, and negatives patterns that are holding you back can be purified and shifted, allowing you to let go, move on, feel at ease, and be restored and renewed.
As you know, I have been working with the energy of the Crane for
January, and one of the gifts this beautiful bird brings is to help us
find our knowledge within. In its natural environment, the crane stands
patiently at the waterside, totally calm and still, waiting for that
perfect moment to strike for its daily catch. There is no struggle in
the stillness of the waiting; the crane has the inbuilt knowledge of
what to do. In fact, the crane thrives in the calm, trusts its own
ability, and has faith that the fish will come to the perfect spot, just
as they have done for thousands and thousands of years in this set up
of the animal kingdom.
We all have our own innate wisdom, but sometimes we need to be able to bring that into sharper focus, so that we can see, hear and witness it. In today's society, our senses are constantly being overstimulated with technology, mass media, noise, images, people, energy...the list is endless and this input affects our ability to catch what our inner and higher self is saying.
Meditation is now a very popular form of mindfulness that helps us to
disconnect from the bombardment of external frequencies; it is
beneficial in calming our mental plane and releasing the stress of
everyday life. Meditation is something I personally must do each day to
help me balance internally, and to sustain own my inner peace. Also,
meditation is wonderful because it helps me to hear my own knowledge
It is a common misconception that your inner wisdom
should arrive like a voicemail message as soon as you close your eyes
for meditation or quiet time; it is thought that this message should be
precise, clear and 100% inform you of the best thing to do today. For
most people, however, it is rare to receive something so exact and
comprehensive. Instead, our knowledge within tends to shows itself in
much more subtle ways: for example, hearing or seeing the same thing
three times, is a definite signpost to take note of. Physical
experiences like shivers, gut reactions, and hairs on the neck raising,
are all messages that are beyond just what your mental plain is
experiencing. Dreams, visions, and daydreams could be classified as
your imagination, but are actually windows into a deeper part of you,
that hold more answers than you realize.
So while you might not receive a full download of everything you need to know about life next time you meditate, please know that the practice of quietening the mind, disconnecting from the external, and going within DOES make a difference. I can guarantee that by making regular time to be still and quiet, you will be guided to your own inner tools of the Universe, bringing into sharper focus what you need to know and when you need to know it. This takes away the stress and pressure of everyday life and the need to find the answers for anything and everything. Deep within, we are all just like the Crane; we can be patient and still, we can trust our own abilities, and we will know the perfect time to strike.
Every day in both my professional and personal life, I meet people who want to do better for themselves by improving their life circumstances, inspiring their community, and ultimately enhancing the world around them. They have beautiful aspirations of change, and work very hard to make it happen. They often grapple with their own inner struggles and with external resistance and limitations placed on them by others. While it might not be immediately apparent, these people are actually alchemists. They are starting with something about themselves, their community, or world, and changing it into something else. This is what alchemy is: a path of purification and transformation. Alchemy expands one’s consciousness, develops one’s insight, and frees one from negative thoughts and patterns of behavior. Alchemy shifts one’s state of being and reality so that one can get out of the struggle and instead live an enriched and fulfilled life. I resonate with alchemy and welcome the opportunity to transform myself into something new. I actually practice alchemy daily, and through the healing sessions I facilitate.
Every moment we have the opportunity to be the alchemist...to shift our perceptions...to let go of old limiting beliefs and patterns...to experience the world through our heart, instead of in our head. These may sound like small things and not very transformational, but they are the keys. When we practice them, then our day to day moments, and our life and personal world can literally transform.
So how do we do the work?
Trying to change negative thought patterns, that have potentially been ingrained within your brain for 20+ years is not as simple as just “stop thinking about it.” These thought patterns come from inherited beliefs, conditioned upbringing, and even past life experiences. In order to transform these thought patterns, you must clear the subconscious pain connected to it, across all areas and layers of your being. The same goes for the old limiting beliefs and patterns that we carry inside; they are not there because we are broken. Rather, they are literally unresolved wounds carried by our soul. They are previous experiences or traumas that have not been let go of, and it is through their cycle of suppression that they have become our current perceived truth.
The work I
facilitate is called Transference Healing and it works at clearing
inherited beliefs, conditioned upbringing, past life experiences,
subconscious pain, unresolved wounds, trauma, and suppression. The
incredible thing is that it does not just clear and transform just one
aspect of the self; rather it works across all facets of the self -
physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Changing all of these
aspects of the self is what creates change and transformation.
Alexis Cartwright, the anchor, channel and founder of Transference
Healing, teaches that these sessions work “with frequency, light and
matter to initiate 'transference'; a shift from one state of being into
another. This is pure alchemy.”
While some ancient practices of alchemy may have sought to turn lead into gold, in today's world, Transference Healing can help support people’s own internal alchemical transformation process, which provides something much more personally lucrative than any physical precious metals.
This month we have been resonating with the energy of the Bat. Bat tells us that we are undergoing a shift in our being, that is, who we are as individuals. Bat tells us that it is time for us to let go of things that no longer serve us. Bat is our guide through the process, helping us to identify and remove things that are in our way. Bat also shows us the way, helping us to find our sense of direction as we shift our being. Last time we talked about the energy of the Spider, and how it helps us to co-create things in our lives. The notion of co-creation is exciting and one that we may wish to start right away, or on the other hand, perhaps it is one that we would like to delay, because we are not sure quite where to begin. How do we actually know when it is time to start changing, shifting our being, and working towards co-creating? How do we figure out where to begin in this creating process, to sort out what we need to let go of and what we need to do going forward? Bat helps us to figure these things out.
What are some things that no longer serve us? Some things can include the proverbial “drama” in our lives. This drama can include things such as engaging in power plays with other people, or letting other people take our energy and monopolize our time and resources. These types of situations make us feel depleted, tired, and unable to work on things that we want to work on. Bat magic helps us to get rid of things that we do not want in our lives, so that we can enter a new cycle, let go of our old ways of being that no longer serve us. When we can let go of things that no longer serve us, then we can work towards living our lives in a more empowered way.
It is not easy to let go of circumstances or relationships that we may have become attached to. We may feel excited or validated by engaging in drama or energy plays with other people. But while we may feel temporarily validated, in actuality these types of situations just keep us preoccupied, prevent us from taking control of our lives, and do not leave us free to take the reins of our own lives to define and co-create what we would like to work towards and become. Bat helps us move through all of these situations so that we can live our lives in more empowered ways and by not surrogating others. Actually, when we stop surrogating other people, we actually enable them to live their lives in a more empowered way.
Bat allows you to release the fear of change, welcome transformation, and empowers you to work with your gifts and talents. So, consider what could serve you well to to give up, for you to let go of? What in your life is holding you back? These could range from your current physical circumstances, to certain relationships you have with other people, to thoughts or feelings that you have. Tune into the energy of the Bat and ask Bat to help you see what direction you would like to go in regarding these circumstances, relationships, thoughts or feelings. Ask Bat to show you the way and/or let go of those things that no longer serve you. Or, perhaps you are on a course that you like and you want to stay on that you have started. If this is the case then you can ask that Bat help you see if there are things on the course that you can let go of that are no longer serving you. Ask Bat to help shine the way for you, to help you get stronger and to help you expand and grow.
Earlier this month I asked that we all check in with ourselves to see what we wanted to change and let go of? If you did that, look at the progress you have made this month. How did you go? You can continue to check your progress by writing down where you are right now, continuing to ask Bat to help you, and keep working towards what you wish to change. Then later on, you can reflect and check in to see the progress that you have made.
Bat guides us towards the empowered way to live our lives of co-creation, which is to recognize, embrace, and accept the end of old cycles, the beginning of new ones, all the while identifying, embracing, and using our gifts and talents.
When we set our intent and tell the Universe
Spider weaves the web of fate, releases illusion from the physical world and allows you to reach beyond the horizon and other dimensions. Alexis Cartwright Animal Magic, 2005, p. 221. This could be considered to be our imagination but really it is using our sixth sense and beyond, that is, things that we cannot physically experience, see, hear or touch in our current physical reality here on earth, in this dimension.
When stagnation happens, we get blocked. The energy does not flow and we cannot manifest things because the way to pulling it down from the ethers is blocked. Spider clears this blockage, called webbing or “situational fibers” so that positive energy can then flow into and resonate with the chakras. Perhaps one can think of it as getting out of your own way, to not allow ego, fear, or difficult life situations to stop you. We have the capability to create many good things in our lives, things that we want to achieve; our hopes, our dreams, and our aspirations. We are meant to create things and to fulfill our destiny here on the earth. Also, we are at our best when we are creating rather than just consuming. Creating is the key to the world being a good place to live in, to bring us health, wellness, and longevity. Through creating we can contribute not only to the well-being of ourselves, but also to the well-being of the world.
There are a number of factors that cause Spider’s web to shift and ripple, and to ripple and shift. When we set our intent and tell the Universe we want something to happen, the Universe perks up its ears, but Spider’s web may not move. The Universe wants to see something more from us to prove that we are committed to that intent and desire, and that we really mean what we desire. The Universe looks for something more from us, a sign of our willingness to move forward and change. This “something” does not have to be an action; however if it is an action, the Universe looks at our intent behind the action. The “something” could be how we set our feelings towards situations, how we react, how we view things, and the responsibility we have towards something. The Universe wants to see how vested we are: are we really up for the outcome that we want? The Universe and Spider with her web patiently wait to see. When there is a shift in our perceptions, feelings and understandings, or if we have taken an action towards what we want, the Universe responds in kind, and Spider’s web shifts. Another thing that can shift Spider’s web is what quite literally can be characterized as the “web of fate.” Sometimes the Universe in its infinite wisdom sets up certain situations to help move us along when it perceives that we do not want to be moved along, and we are comfortable and cozy right where we are (but really we are not). So, the Universe throws a curve ball and initiates an unfortunate circumstance, a challenge, an unexpected emergency, or situation, where we have to take the time and deal with it, we become very uncomfortable and more worse for the wear; this can be described or thought of as the web of fate.
The Universe looks for signs from us that we intend and truly want to create and change, or will send out its own signals if it determines that we are not moving fast enough, and then Spider responds in kind with her web that she weaves. How do we move through challenging situations? What if we feel stuck in trying to manifest what we we would like to do or what Universe in its wisdom hands to us? How do we create new and positive circumstances in our lives? The key is to shift our vibrations. Shifting our intent, emotional state, and perceptions shifts the vibrations, and in turn, shifts what we attract, create, and then ultimately do in our lives. Spider watches and weaves her web accordingly, helping you, as you help yourself, to create and achieve those things that you set your intent to do.
Transference Healing® offers simple but effective energy techniques for lifting and clearing negative vibrations, creating space and allowing for positive vibrations, for balancing, for grounding, and for rejuvenation.
Life is made up of energy, and all energy has vibrations. Vibrations can take so many forms and are all very different. We have vibrations and depending on our emotional state, state of mind, or physical, mental, emotional state, we have many different vibrations. The earth and the cosmos have their own vibrations. In fact, all other things on earth have their own vibrations including animals, plants, trees, stones, crystals and water. We, like all existing things, have the ability to create and shift vibrations within ourselves and in our environments. Vibrations can be created through music. Instruments that are played have their own vibrations and the human vocal chords vibrate when people sing or speak. We create vibrations with our emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and these vibrations are all different in frequency. Any body movement that we do produces its own vibrations and this includes walking, dancing, running. Vibrations can be positive or negative. Fear and worry have their own vibrations. Peace and happiness also have their own vibrations. The vibrations that we hold in our bodies not only vibrate out into our environment, but the vibrations actually attract similar vibrations to us that already exist. If fear, worry, sadness and other negative emotions are not cleared, they can stay in and around the body, mind and soul and negatively impact the systems within the human form and actually increase over time. In fact, the fear can paralyze us, hold us back and even set us back. Sadness and depression can squelch our spirit, our confidence, and our will to move forward. On the other hand, peace and happiness can lift our spirits and our confidence, and actually clear obstacles from our life paths.
Therefore, because vibrations in the body have such a profound impact on how we live, including our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical state of being, it is key for well-being to actually physically shift the vibrations that are in the body, rather than just mentally clearing the vibrations. For example, to clear fear and stress, knowing that one should not be afraid in one’s head on the mental plane is completely different than actually feeling the fear stress and tension actually dissipate and leave the body. Clearing negative vibrations can be achieved in a number of ways but they must all occur on a physical level. One cannot just listen to, but must actually feel the vibrations of music in the body. Dancing to music or moving in some way that feels good can help clear negative vibrations from the body and create positive vibrations.
While growing up, I innately used art and the natural elements to support me on the physical, emotional and spiritual levels. Music, singing, dancing, exercising and spending time by the water and in nature were key for me to be able to balance and realign and to brush off negativity, fear and uncertainty.
A more direct way to shift vibrations in the body is through Transference Healing®, whose principals, teachings and frequencies I share today. My first healing was in New York City. It was a life changing moment. I felt strong yet gentle sensations in my body, physically experiencing the energetic shifts within me, that made me realize that emotional blocks had been cleared from that one healing.
Transference Healing® offers simple but effective energy
techniques for clearing blocks and negativity, for balancing, and for
grounding. These techniques are
supportive, to help clear negativity, to help one rejuvenate, to stay calm, to
have more compassion for oneself, and to be positive. I invite you to come
experience the energy for yourself; book-in for a healing with me today.
Turtle represents Gaia, another name for Mother Earth. As humans and inhabitants of the earth, we are inextricably linked with the Earth, and with the elements of the Earth, found in nature. All of the earth’s elements are inside of us and around us. We use and need the earth’s elements to nourish and sustain ourselves including the water we drink, the air we breathe, the sunlight, the moonlight, and the plants and animals that live here on the earth.
What an intricate
ecological system that has been set up here in nature on the earth; the
biodiversity is sophisticated and complex. The interwoven networks in
nature and perfect symbiotic relationships with its inhabitants and the
planet have provided the earth with the ability to sustain and maintain
itself over the course of time. Humans are learning so much from
analyzing and studying these systems on Earth. The whole system of how
we depend on the Earth is manifested in the the tiniest form inside our
bodies such as the mitochondria to the largest universe and to beyond
infinity, beyond what humans have discovered or can even understand or
identify at this point in our evolution.
While these things may
surpass our understanding and ability to discover at present, all things
elements of the Earth seem to have a purpose and meaning and order to
them, and are inextricably linked. Quite simply, this can be labeled as
the wonders and mysteries of the earth, universe and beyond. And Mother
Earth, symbolized by the Turtle, is connected to this vast and glorious
mysterious world; she benevolently sustains and nourishes us as human
beings. And in many cultures Mother Earth is symbolized by the Turtle.
Turtle, as this symbol of the Earth includes representing how the Earth
exists and evolves over time. Turtle teaches us the patience to develop
and manifest ideas, to remain grounded and be in harmony with our
environments, to connect to the power of the earth for nourishment,
Alexis Cartwright Animal Magic, 2005 p. 246.
As humans we depend on the Earth to live, just as a child depends on its mother for life. Mother Earth is the place where we can learn, grow, seek safety and be protected in the universe. Mother Earth nourishes and sustains us. Mother Earth helps us in so many ways, as a mother helps her child. When we are stressed and have had a grueling day we can take a walk away from our stressful environment. Whether it is a workplace indoors or outdoors, we can step away and go to a place in nature where there are nature’s elements, for instance, the grass, water, trees or flowers. And wherever you have chosen, you can take in the scent of the grass and trees and flowers and experience their soothing effects. Even if one is allergic to the pollen of the trees and grass and it is hard for one to be around these elements because of it, one can appreciate and look at the beauty of nature, or one can close one’s eyes and focus on nature: bird’s chirping, the way the wind blows in the breeze, the way the light reflects on the ground or the way the water feels to the touch or on the body. One can go to a body of water and look and listen to it, get in it, or touch and feel it. We can feel the ground underneath us or a different kind of terrain: sand, rocks, soil..it has been scientifically proven that connecting to the ground is beneficial for one’s health.
Gaia’s embrace takes many forms; we can look at her, and we can experience her in so many ways to strengthen, soothe, nurture and guide us. Experiencing Gaia involves all of our faculties, all of our human senses including our sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste. Mother Earth affords so many opportunities where we can experience her loving embrace and feel soothed, nurtured and sustained. So, the next time you see a Turtle, think of Gaia, Mother Earth, and remember how much you are loved and cared for by planet Earth, and that you can draw on her for strength, support and sustenance.
During this year of 2018, so many loved ones of people that I know have passed away. Many of these deaths have been literally life-changing for people. As we are in the midst of a season of lights and holidays, let us take pause to honor those who have passed away. Let us take time to comfort ourselves as we mourn those people and animals that we loved who have passed away. Let us take time to feel the loss of people that we are no longer in contact with. Let us take time to mourn the traditions and events that will cease to exist and no longer happen.
Loss of loved ones can take so many forms; loss is not only limited to one’s passing from the earth. Loss can also entail: the death of a loved one, either a person or an animal. A divorce. A breakup. The end of a friendship. Losing a job or one’s job security. A child removed from their home, taken away from their parents, or from their caretakers. A loved one developing a debilitating disease, or a condition such as Alzheimer’s or Dementia, leaving them to no longer be the person that we once knew.
The reality and pain of separation and change remains and reminds us that
our loved ones have passed on, and that things are no longer as they were. Yes,
there still remains the unshakable feelings of loss and grief. We find
ourselves searching and looking for someone or something that is no longer
there. We have memories; through our remembrances we try to hold on to a
feeling or feelings we had with someone. We try to recreate these same feelings
we had in new settings and with other people but we cannot. We mourn, we feel
loss, we grieve. It is true, things will never be the same.
Sometimes we have the feelings, or perhaps we tell ourselves or give ourselves the illusion that things were perfect with our loved ones who have passed on, have gone away, or changed, and only that sense of perfection or bliss can be obtained with them. Perhaps a need of ours was satisfied with these loved one(s) who we mourn. Perhaps we felt safe, nurtured, had a sense of belonging, and felt valued in the relationship. Perhaps we had a deep emotional connection with the person and bonded in a way with them that we did not experience with others. Perhaps we built traditions with them or developed a sense of tradition. Perhaps the person had the ability to provide reliability, comfort, and grace and strength for us. Perhaps we leaned on that person and depended on them so much. And then suddenly, our beloved, the one that we knew and that they knew us, are no longer there. Our hearts grieve, yearning for the times that were, and yet that cannot be anymore.
The holidays heighten that sense of feeling and loss (especially if the loss happened during the holiday season!). Perhaps in our day to day lives we can obscure, blur, and even forget the feelings of loss. However, as that one special holiday rolls around year after year, just one time a year, well that is when we acutely feel a sense of sorrow and loss because the holiday can serve as a reminder that the person, persons or animal(s) whom we loved are no longer here. Traditions, rituals, routines, celebrations, and things done on the holiday or during the holiday season with that person are suddenly no more. The time of each holiday gives us only once a year to process those intense feelings that come up, unlike the other routine days that we have during the year. And on top of this, there are still plenty of other days during the year that can highlight and remind us of our feelings of grief and sense of loss.
The loss is not necessarily going to get easier. One of your parent dies; the other is still alive. What is going to happen when your other parent passes away? Or what happens when you lose other people that you love and were close to? What if you have you lost your spouse, or significant other? What if you have lost a child? The loss is very real. For those who have lost ones to death, the loved ones do not exist in the human form any longer and thus you cannot communicate or interact with them on the earth plane as you once did. For those who have lost loved ones due to life circumstances such as divorce, mental illness, adoption, or other life-changing events, it can feel so hard because you know that the people still live on the planet but you are no longer able or permitted to be in touch with them; or perhaps you know that they have no desire to be in touch with you. The feelings of pain and rejection can be quite unbearable and overwhelming. And back to death...Aunts, uncles, pets...as we get older, death becomes more and more of an inevitable part of life. Will you let the death or loss just overcome you and consume you, leaving you unable to carry on your existence on earth? Let’s face it, the loss will never go away. The emptiness for those person or persons will always be there. Things will never be the same again.
So how to deal with this sense of loss? Well that’s not an easy answer and it can vary widely from person to person on how people deal with it. The fact is that loss is loss, and things are not going to be the same again. However, since we are living here on earth, the mere fact that we live in the physical mortal flesh, we do carry on, although how we do this can vary and take many different forms. As we are and remain living, we can and do have the power to work on coping and grieving. We have the power to work through the grief and come to terms with the loss of our loved ones or changed circumstances.
Death and loss are part of the human experience. We came into this world alone and we will leave the world alone. No one else can live our journey for us. No one can think for us and no one can be us. It remains a fact that we carry with us emotions that include a profound sense of loss and abandonment. However, we are born with, and have been given tools to cope with loss and have internal resources inside of ourselves to be resilient. The Human Spirit and Life is meant to carry on. We still have the capacity for love in our hearts. We still have the capacity to love others and to physically spend time with others on the earth plane.
Let us tell ourselves and remind ourselves that we are still living on vibrant earth in the embrace and loving energy of mother Gaia and that she is here to support us and nurture us. While those whom we cared for and loved are no longer here in the present physical forms, their souls will live on. Their form has merely taken a different shape. Let us remind ourselves that we can still reach out to them even though they are no longer in the human form. It is okay to comfort ourselves regarding our changed circumstances and people and animals that no longer exist on the earth realm. It is important to acknowledge our feelings and our sense of loss.
For those whose loved ones have passed, depending on your beliefs, perhaps you could have a celebration in their Honor. You could incorporate a tradition in your loved one’s honor and start new traditions. Seek out and be with those who love you, the living ones who are still on the earth. They too enjoy celebrations. Make new friends. The pain is not going to go away. There will always be a wound, a hurt, a scar, but you have the ability and strength to work through it. Feel your sorrow, acknowledge it. Honor the beloved person or animal who has passed away or who is no longer with you. Take some time to be sad, to comfort yourself and to seek comfort from others; it is okay to be sad.
Loss of loved ones, though painful and changing, is a great opportunity to turn to our faith or at least to acknowledge there is something out there in the world that is greater than ourselves. Sometimes, perhaps more often than we admit, we look up to people as our rocks and strength. Actually, that strength also exists in a higher power, in something greater than ourselves. Whatever your faith is, or perhaps you are an atheist or agnostic, a great step to empower yourself is to acknowledge that there is a universe outside of our earthly and human existence, and that there are forces that exist that we can call on to use as resources. The point of doing this is so that we can give ourselves permission to turn to someone or something for help, so that we do not have to be strong all by ourselves.
Be kind to yourself this holiday season. Honor those you have loved and lost. Know that life will continue and that you have the power to comfort yourself, and to work through the pain and loss.
Sending Blessings and Light during this Holiday Season.
Oh truth truth, what are you, truth truth?
Even in the darkest night the truth shines rays of light,
Standing steadfast in the breeze
Never ripping asunder.
What is the truth of a thing or a matter? Can it just be a little embellished? How much truth has to be true for it to be used and defined as the truth? Is it absolute, or is it according to what set of facts one wants to use? How much truth is the truth? Is it truthful enough where others find it truthful, or is something truthful only when one truly knows it to be truthful in their heart?
I learned in law school, that truth is the art of the argument for a case, and as one of my professors would say, the truth depends on “which side is you on.” While in litigation, trial lawyers put forth the facts that favor their clients’ positions. Then, to find what the heart of the matter is, a judge or a jury decides based on the combined and sum set of facts put together while simultaneously parsing them. All of this to find out what truly happened, what the truth of the matter is. And, in even then during this litigation, the standard of the law is not the absolute Truth, but rather the standard for finding the “truth” is meeting one’s burden of the matter: beyond the shadow of a doubt in a criminal matter and the preponderance of the evidence in a civil matter. This example of law shows that reaching the truth of a matter between two or more parties can be a complex involved matter, and that there is disagreement on the Truth.
Litigation aside, what if there is only one person involved and that person is you and only you know what happened? How do you truly think or feel about the situation? Are you truthful to yourself? Or do you try to lie to yourself, or lie to other people even though you know the truth? Some people lie so much that they get used to it. Science shows that the human brain gets accustomed to lying over time - the first time a person lies they get really upset and bothered, there are physiological reactions to it. As time goes on the person continues and they keep lying and get more comfortable with it, good at telling lies to other people. “According to a recent Nature Neuroscience study by Tali Sharot and her team at University College London, the more we lie for our own benefit, the more desensitized we become to the negative emotions associated with lying, and the easier it becomes to tell even bigger lies.” This is Your Brain On Lies, by Crystal Goh, Mindful, December 16, 2016, https://www.mindful.org/this-is-your-brain-on-lies/
Consider that for people who lie and who are not telling and standing
in their truths, that it can negatively impact their physical health and
cause ailments like creating high blood pressure, insomnia, body aches
and pains. When people lie to themselves or do not live in their truths,
they often stuff their emotions and feelings down into their bodies and
they can end up getting sick. Also, when people have told lies, they
have to remember what they lied about, what they said or did not stay,
and this can create big problems. Lying can create all kinds of
complications in one’s personal and professional life. Not only can
health be on the line, but professional licenses also; people can lose
their licenses, and in some cases even be arrested for lying.
Now in contrast to lying, there is the truth, the wholesome, honest to
goodness truth. Sometimes others can get jealous of those being in
their truth or feel very uncomfortable around them. The truth rings
supreme and has a steadfast uncanny way of holding and ringing true no
I often work on establishing the truth of a matter with clients while working with them on their immigration cases. Some of them have previously told lies in their immigration past. Trying to unravel the lies they have told them while making sure the client continues to tell the truth and not create more lies and falsehoods is a challenge. It would have been so much easier for the person to have told the truth in the beginning. The old adage that says, “The Truth is on your side” is one that stands strong in all areas of my life.
The Universe holds me to a high degree of truthfulness. For me not to tell the truth can create all kinds of problems and I do not want to find out what they could be. I would rather tell the truth and face the consequences of my actions then to tell a lie to cover it up and try to get out of it. When one lies, not only the error or misdeed as happened, but now a lie, another misdeed has happened on top of it, then mess after mess has been created, and it becomes harder and harder to rectify the situation.
People who live in their truth can often make people who do not live their truth feel uncomfortable for simply being who they are.
People who live in their truth often are not even aware of the dynamics because they tend to stay humble and grounded in reality. People who admit the truth tend to not go into their egos because they automatically keep themselves in check because they admit their shortcomings and errors. There is a certain ease that people have who live in their truth; they often do not have physical ailments and they can and do feel free to live and to be.
Owl helps me stand in my truth. Owl gives me the strength and courage to look at myself and to be true to myself, clearing away self-deception. Being truthful helps me to discern what is relevant and in this manner, I can make my life better by absorbing accurate information and knowledge, truth, and wisdom.
What force is greater than oneself that creates serendipitous and synchronized circumstances, moves mountains, and allows for boundless miracles? What is the force that supports events to unfold in beautiful and mysterious ways for the benefit and enhancement of overall well-being of oneself and humanity? The force is the power of the Divine. Aligning one’s power with the will of the Divine enables one to work and create miracles.
To align one’s power with that of the Divine, one must set their intent in good faith and with love, trusting in the Divine. One must make their intent to be of service, to serve for the highest good of all. Then, one must do their part to plan the logistics of the work, and set things in motion, so they can happen in the physical realm. With one’s will in align with the Divine, and by doing the work, that is when the magic happens. Events unfold: the people one meets and the things that happen are serendipitous and synchronized with the project, goal and work. Resources abound and events beautifully and effortlessly unfold. This is the power of Divine Will in action.
Surrendering to the Divine starts with recognizing and then acknowledging that there is a force greater than oneself in the universe and then surrendering to it, allowing the force to work through you to help you. The key word for Dragon is Divine Will (Alexis Cartwright, Animal Magic, 2005, p. 90). Alexis Cartwright writes, “‘Transference Healing(R) Dragon Power’ is the most profound power source held on the planet.” Alexis Cartwright, Transference Healing Animal Magic, 2005, p. 91.
Dragon Power and Divine Will work in tandem, when one is working from their heart and not from their ego. Working from one’s heart allows one to work according to the will of the Divine. One may seek challenges as one works towards a goal because their intent is tested to see if it is pure and coming from one’s heart. If one’s intent pure, then Dragon Power, the power of the Divine, is triggered, will come into help, and will remain to help, as long as one stays in their heart and their intent remains pure. One is truly empowered by working from the heart in align with Divine Will.
Dragon Power will help one move forward on their projects, and to transform and change. Aligning oneself with Divine Will will bless one’s projects in the most fortuitous and magical ways; ways in which one could never have imagined. Dragon Power allows one to be in their heart which is to open their heart letting the magic and love flow. At the same time Dragon Power allows one to protect themselves, and to stand in their power so they are not run down and can take care of themselves. Dragon Power counteracts negative feelings. It helps with goals, purifying one’s ego and intent, and helps one feel more calm and dignified. Dragon Power is a magical force that creates light, freedom, happiness and a new state of being.
When one’s intent is pure, when one connects to
their heart, this allows for the ultimate connection to the Divine. Aligning oneself with Divine Will is a key
to truly know and understand that everything happens in Divine Timing. Through
Divine Will flows the keys for being truly productive - patience, faith, trust,
clarity, and wellness, for the highest good of all.
rstand. Then, we must convey that to people who may have
never have even heard of the subject matter. That is the true art of teaching.
It is easier said than done. It is one thing for us to go quickly, run through,
and not analyze a subject. But it is a whole other matter for us to stop,
think, break down, explain why, and present slowly, patiently make our way
through, repeating and rephrasing ourselves if necessary. What better way to
learn something and to hone one’s own understanding of a subject than by
teaching it to someone else.
While it can be taxing to teach someone in a way that they can truly grasp, understand and learn, or for them to gain some knowledge or viewpoint that they did not have previously, it is possible for us to reap rewards and to be enriched from teaching. It can be extremely satisfying to teach other people. Also, sometimes through teaching, we or our students are able to perceive or understand the subject matter in a way that had not been seen before. The art of teaching and the rewards of teaching are beautiful things.
Teaching can often be a self-less act; perhaps it is driven by the innate longing of wanting another soul to learn and know that which you have spent countless or thousand hours at, toiling away, grasping or even struggling yourself to know or understand. You want to make it easier for your students. You want to share your unique perspective, imparting the information in an accessible way for them, so they too can learn and understand.
And so, with reflecting on and discussing all of this, I have come to a new cycle in healing and growth where Spirit has asked me to teach. Divining the Wolf Card this month is an auspicious and clear sign that I am being directed and encouraged to teach, to use my voice and what I have learned, to teach others.
We must remember that when we teach, we take on a leadership role. This is because teachers are considered to have a position of authority, imparting wisdom to their students; because students learn from their teachers, they are influenced by them. It is so important to keep in mind that leadership is about service to others; it is not solely about ourselves. Teaching and leadership both require one to act responsibly, with integrity, for the highest good of the collective whole.
Something magical happens when a person teaches. Teaching is moving a step forward. This is a new phase in life where we can learn something new through teaching others. Teachers teach by example and are leaders; they set examples and standards for others of how they live their lives and approach things in life. Words alone are not enough; walking one’s talk, and teaching by example pave the way for true leadership.
The Process of Change and Awakening
You find yourself in a rut doing the same thing every day unable to get out of it. You are not able to see a bigger picture of why you are living your life and exist in the world. You may find that you go through your days in a routine. You are in an awake sleep state and you cannot wake yourself out of it. Wanting to break out, you find that you cannot break out, or perhaps you are not even aware that you are able to break out of the routine. Or, you may have no clue how to begin to break out of the routine. You feel that this routine will go on forever and forever, and you will never break free from it.
However, the truth is, quoting Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher, “change is the only constant in life.” Change in life is indeed inevitable. The Universe requires that we come out of and away from our routines because we cannot stay stagnate or the same forever. The Universe in its infinite wisdom has its ways of creating the means for the change to happen. The Universe actually may move us to change or we may choose to change ourselves. Sometimes the process of moving and shifting is painful but at the same time the change can be very freeing. The Shift for some people can be apparent and visible to the outside world and to themselves: relocating homes or offices, changing jobs, having a baby, getting married, or getting divorced. The Shift can be very unexpected e.g. being terminated from a job, or a natural disaster ruining one’s home. For others, the Shift can be very traumatic and even devastating: experiencing a life-debilitating illness or death of a spouse, parent or loved one. We are not saying that change is easy. But you can help the process of the Change or Shift and make it easier for yourself,
by becoming aware of what is going on
When something or someone is taken away from us, or we lose something or we leave something behind, or someone is no longer with us, there is immediate change in our world. When we no longer have someone or something that we had before, we have a brand new and different perspective in our lives. Suddenly, the sense of security, power, or familiarity that we felt with the person or thing is pulled away from us. We can feel vulnerable or powerless. At the same time, despite our frustration and pain, we are suddenly free because we are no longer dependent on the person or thing that gave us the sense of security. This can be an unsettling concept; perhaps it feels disloyal or sacrilegious to even dare contemplate that we could be free by losing someone or something that was our whole world.
What’s going on with the world then? What and why are these Shifts and Changes in the Universe shifting and changing our External Reality?
We are being the gift of awakening, the purpose of which is so that we can come into the Light, see the Light, and begin to co-create the existence of our reality and to remember from where we came from. The awakening is happening so that we can shift and reconnect to our Divine Self. We are being supported in the year of 2018 to make huge shifts in our reality and consciousness and the Universe is divinely supporting us to do this.
There are many things presently happening in the Universe that are quantifiable and can be verified that are helping us to awaken, shift and change. In the months of July and August this year, there were three eclipses (on July 12th, 27th and August 11th). Eclipses signify change and create incredible opportunities to change. Sometimes the logistics of the change can feel messy, painful, even devastating, like one’s whole world has come crashing down. But in reality, the change is an incredible opportunity for change. Another major event that happened this month was the LionsGate Awakening which occurred August 8. The LionsGate occurs every year on August 8th. The LionsGate Awakening happens in the star sign of Leo. During the time of the LionsGate, the Earth, the Star Sirius, and the Sun are in alignment. With the alignment comes an intense surge of light which causes and helps us to awaken. According to Alexis Cartwright, “Sirius is the largest and most brilliant star in the heavens, situated 8.6 light years from Earth. It is located in the eye of the great dog Canis Major, and is therefore known in mythology as the ‘Dog Star.’....Sirian frequencies are very pure frequencies of light that filter down and into our dimension from the dimensions of Sirius via the Sirian ‘stellar gateway’ (located where the star Sirius is in the sky)... Sirius...opens the third eye chakra so new levels of consciousness and enlightenment can manifest.” Alexis Cartwright, Transference Healing Animal Magic, Transference Healing Pty. Ltd., 2005, p. 282.
Take a deep breathe. Now close your eyes. Picture Light. Beautiful White Light that filters in and around your body, mind and soul. Beautiful white light filters through in the atmosphere, in your surroundings and in all corners of your world. Light helps us to see because it illuminates what is going on in and around us. Light shows us the way so that we know what we are doing. Light shows what is distorted and not working in our lives, so that we can clear, restore, and actually improve our situations.
Part of our awakening process requires that certain things about us or our lives need to break down and that we get pulled out of the routines in our lives. That is when some of the Changes/Shifts that we discussed above can happen.
While the Universe is presenting us with this lovely gift of awakening and light, we must also do our part to be able to receive the gift. It is an important part of this awakening process to keep an open mind and heart and to take some time for introspection. Introspection is the examination or observation of one’s own mental and emotional processes. It is self-examination. It is soul-searching. It is self-observation. Introspection helps us see things in a new light and helps us to become conscious of what needs to change for our highest good. Conducting introspection during the time of awakening and when surrounded by the light helps give us courage to make changes without fear.
If there is one thing to take with you from
reading this, it is that you are divinely supported and encouraged by the
Universe at this time to make changes in yourself, and in your reality, for
your highest good. Awaking and Introspection gives you the perspective and
direction to reconnect with and remember your Divine Self, for your peace,
fulfillment and happiness here on Earth and beyond. With a little work and a
little faith, you have the power to make those changes happen.
During the past eighteen months, there have been so many loved ones who have died and passed on, departing the earth plane. They have been grandparents, parents, siblings, children, pets, and even famous people, leaving many of the living people remaining on this earth feeling heartbroken, sad, and feeling loss. What is it, one wonders? Why have people been passing away during these past eighteen months? One could explain it as a natural course of events in life because parents have been growing older and getting on in years. However, how does one explain that some of the parents have been relatively young, that some people who passed on were actually young, and that many of these deaths were quite unexpected because some of the people who passed on were in good health and were not sick. Other people, however, indeed had been going through enduring and challenging health issues for quite some time.
I have watched so many of my friends and colleagues grieve and be challenged with the new situations and realities that they are now confronted with: they continue to exist and to remain living on earth but their loved ones are no longer present in the mortal flesh. Some friends and colleagues were daily caretakers of their mothers or fathers or they spent a large portion of their lives focused around the caring for their beloved. Some had just witnessed their children get newly married, the birth of their grand-child, and then for whatever reason, either the parent with the brand-new baby, the newlywed, or even the brand-new baby, departed the earth. Suddenly, with the passing of the loved one, the once-joyful and talk-filled moments of time with appointments to go to, food to prepare, visits to do, are suddenly gone, there is suddenly freed-up time, and there is an emptiness that sets in. Perhaps the emptiness can be kept at bay at first as the days are busy planning the funeral arrangements, receiving visits, phone calls and cards from loved one, and sorting of the estate. However, as all of these activities come to an end, and the quiet settles in, the pain and emptiness can be felt from both the inside, and on the outside world.
Many people had looked to their deceased parent(s), beloved, or loved ones for support. Many had a feeling that they were completed by these people, that they were a quiet and steadfast pillar of strength that they repeatedly looked towards during the both rough and rugged times, and also during the calm and serene times. Others saw their deceased parents or loved ones intermittently, spending certain times of the year with them during holidays, birthdays and vacations. Others were stunned that a brand-new baby or child could pass away so quickly and steal away precious moments of love and joy never felt or realized. Others who had troubled relationships or estranged relationships with the one who passed on, still found themselves impacted by the death.
Now, in life, just as the wind blows or the storm brews, unleashes and passes, people find that their loved is gone – someone who was once part of them, who they would and could talk to and touch, is no longer a mortal and in tangible form. The reality is that the parent, beloved or loved one has died and passed on to another place. Where that different place actually is, has many different views or interpretations based on the religious or spiritual association one is drawn to and associated with. But one thing is certain; that the parent, beloved or loved one no longer dwells in the physical flesh on the earth. Some people feel like their own lives have ended because they feel that their loved one was part of them, or an extension of themselves and therefore a part of themselves has died. They feel at a loss for daily strength and guidance. Now they no longer know how to spend their days. They are bereaved. Even people with the troubled or estranged relationships with the deceased person can find themselves impacted because that person had been in their life for so long; perhaps they finally feel at peace, or perhaps they feel troubling emotions such as sorrow, regret or guilt. It is so important to allow yourself time to grieve, to feel the pain, to feel the loss, to honor yourself, your loved one and the relationship you had with them and the love you felt for them. Also, it is so important to acknowledge and reflect upon the person who died with whom you had a troubled relationship or were estranged from, to give yourself permission to reflect upon the relationship, and to give yourself permission to feel whatever feelings that arise from the reflection.
While it can be painful (or not painful) to lose a loved one, whether it is a spouse, child, parent, sibling, partner, family member or friend, the loss creates an incredible opportunity to initiate changes in yourself. The reason for this is because externally a part of your own physical reality has changed; so, why not truly reflect that and make changes in your inner and outer reality. Some people while grieving, get stuck in the grieving process, and the feelings of loss and sadness remain with no change in direction. However, there is no need to get stuck in the grieving process forever: there are resources and things you can turn to and use to help you process your grief.
Since your physical world is different now because someone has passed away, how about taking action by going inward, and also by reflecting your new reality out onto the world through your way of being.
Your physical world has changed; your loved one is no longer physically living; your emotions have changed. You are grieving and feeling bad, perhaps you feel an emptiness inside of you, as if something is missing. Things in the physical world are not going to be the same anymore. What do you do? Do you want to despair and feel that your whole world is over because your beloved one is no longer with you? Do you think that your dear loved one would want to you to feel and react that way towards their passing? Or perhaps would your loved one want you to keep going with your life living it in your best way possible to be happy and fulfilled? Often when we lose a loved one we are triggered to consider what is the meaning of life. That is a good thing because that contemplation can take us on a journey inward, of self-reflection and introspection…One thing that can be said about self-reflection and introspection is that it helps create an awareness that may not have existed before. And just the act of self-reflection and introspection can be counted towards making a change and engaging in a new activity.
Now is a great opportunity to empower yourself, to make yourself stronger. Just like an athlete suffers an injury and rehabilitates it back to health, we too can nurse ourselves back to health and make ourselves stronger, after we get hurt from the death of our loved one. Perhaps we can become stronger than we were before, and even stronger than we could even imagine ourselves to be.
Nothing in life stays the same or lasts forever. So too, death is an inevitable part of life and presents a great opportunity to learn. In school we did not stay in the same class or grade forever; we changed grades and moved up to levels where we were challenged with more material, more responsibilities; more things were required of us. The increased challenges and responsibility were not bad things; in fact, they helped us grow. When we were children we had also certain responsibilities, and they increased in number overtime. As we learned, acquired more responsibilities, gained new information, and saw different perspectives, we became more confident in ourselves. With more confidence in ourselves, came a feeling of empowerment. With the feeling of empowerment came feeling a sense of freedom.
This is a great opportunity to turn to our faith or at least acknowledge there is something out there in the world that is greater than ourselves. Sometimes, perhaps more often than we admit, we look up to people as our rock and strength. Actually, that strength also exists in a higher power, in something greater than ourselves. Whatever your faith is, or perhaps you are an atheist or agnostic, a great step to empower yourself is to acknowledge that there is a universe outside of our earthly and human existence, and that there are forces that exist that we can call on to use as resources. The point of doing this is so that we can give ourselves permission to turn to someone or something for help, so that we do not have to be strong all by ourselves.
We are not professing to have all of the
answers. We are not giving a trite solution to a significantly often-devastating
life event that can create great grief, sorrow, upheaval and turmoil. We are just suggesting that you might try to
gently shift your perspective in light of your new physical reality on the
earth plane, and to see it as a new opportunity to make changes for the better
for you and your life.
Manifestation is a word with such a deep meaning. An often-asked
question for many people is: Do I truly have the ability to manifest
what my heart desires?
In our previous writings, we have talked about topics that include conducting ourselves with honesty, integrity, and reliability see, “Being Truly Reliable Means Being Able to Count On Yourself.” What is the importance of incorporating these actions and things into our lives? Is it just for the sake of our own self-care, deriving personal self-satisfaction and patting oneself on the back? Or, is there a greater purpose, some kind of universal collective award?
Is the only reason for living our lives and always
aspiring to live our lives consistently with honesty, integrity and
reliability is to just prove that we can handle the challenges that
life presents to us? These challenges include life’s little challenges,
and life’s big challenges. What is the point? Why go to all of that
bother you ask? Why not just aspire to get it right at the important
times that you can, and call it a day when you cannot? Isn’t that a
better way to treat yourself? Sometimes we work so hard, yet because we
are human, sometimes we just cannot get it right, as much as we try.
Because of this reality, it is indeed important to have compassion for
ourselves as we discussed in “Compassion Helps Lighten Our Loads,” and
to not self-judge ourselves as we discussed in “Releasing Self-Judgement
is an Act of Self Care.” However, this does not mean that we should not
continue to push ourselves, and to challenge ourselves in order to grow
and learn. After all, we came here to this planet earth for a purpose.
No matter what our each individual purpose is, each of us with our
individual purpose, is a delicate and integral part of the human and the
broader universal fabric, existence, and experience.
But, so what we say to ourselves, we do not care about this one iota. Okay then: Look around you. How is your life? Are you truly content and fulfilled with your life and have achieved all that your heart desires? Are you truly being honest and in integrity when you answer this question? If so, stop. Read no further.
However, do you find yourself wanting something more in your life? We must stress that we are not speaking of material things. We are speaking of immaterial things: Being able to maintain a peaceful and balanced state of mind when your deadlines and bills are due. When bills are due and there is not enough money in the bank to cover them. When your child, spouse, elderly parent or loved one falls ill, and when you fall ill at the exact same time. When someone close to you dies. When things do not work out as you hoped. Also, we are referring to maintaining peace and balance when good and beautiful things happen.Getting a job promotion. Winning money. The birth of a child. Getting a new haircut, dress or car.
In sadness, disappointment, and in happiness, it is important to remember to focus, to balance, and to align. Why is this important? The purpose of keeping an even keel and maintaining grounding and alignment is so that manifestation can continue to happen. When we do not worry about the material things and the external events happening to us, we can maintain peace and a relaxed and detached state of being within ourselves. This peace and relaxed and detached state of being then creates a space that can then allow for good things to come into our space. When we are off-balance and worry, our energy is off-kilter, we are worried and become attached to outcomes, and then in turn this can allow for negative energy and things to come into our space. Like a domino effect, negative events can result in a downward spiral that does not seem to end or relent. Then, whilst in the downward spiral, it can be difficult to climb out of it and start moving up again.
The key to maintain peace and detachment, and thus avoid negativity when both good things and bad things are happening is to actually BE balanced and aligned. To BE means not just to think it in your brain. Not just to have it as a passing thought. Not to just talk about it ad naseum for hours and hours on end. Not to wish for it and think it will happen one day. No, rather, in order to BE balanced and aligned, some steps need to be taken. And, this is where the actions of honesty, integrity, being compassionate with and reliable to oneself come in. In doing these things, we are BEING respectful and caring with ourselves and towards other people. In doing these things we feel better and more balanced and aligned. When we are in balance and aligned and at peace, our frequency raises. When our frequency raises then we can be in the right vibration to attract things that we want for ourselves. Being balanced, aligned and at peace creates the space and opportunities for us to reach up and out, move forward, to manifest things that will make us grow and enrich us, and that we wish for in our lives.
Did you know that if you cannot be reliable to yourself, then you cannot truly have others depend on you? To determine whether you are sincerely reliable to yourself, then you must first be honest with yourself and you must project that honesty out into the world. Some people pretend to be honest in their assessment, but they do not really want to find or know the truth. So, what happens is that some people pretend that they are reliable to themselves, but they really are not.
But what do you mean, you ask? What is being reliable to oneself?
Most often when one thinks of reliability, one calls to mind being on time, keeping your word, coming through for someone in a time of crisis, doing something consistently and unwaveringly, paying bills on time, perhaps having a good credit score. Being faithful to your partner. Returning phone calls. Sending money every month for someone’s support, perhaps your parents or children. Taking care of an elderly person in the family, a small child, or regularly cooking or supplying food on a regular basis to groups of guests, or even to people who just drop in unexpectedly to your house; you accommodate their schedules. Bailing someone out of jail.
Always being there in an emergency, no matter what it takes, where someone’s life or liberty hangs in the balance. Ignoring public policy or safety concerns when making a decision or judgement for the benefit of the principal individual. Paying your adult child’s credit card bill, light bill or car insurance every month. Perhaps you are reliable in that you provide great customer service at a fraction of the cost of your competitors or other similarly-situated service providers. People say that you are a good ole’ dad or a good ole’ mum. Or that you are a great sister, brother, daughter, son, in-law, boss, or worker. People say, thank goodness for you to help out, that you are their rock. It appears awesome and good to take great measures and go to great lengths for people or to be the reliable steady eddy in someone’s life. It feels awesome to be called the old faithful, that you are consistent, reliable and unwavering.
While it may
appear awesome and noble to undertake all of some of these endeavors, have we
ever stopped to consider if we are reliable to ourselves. What, you ask? What
does being reliable to yourself mean? Until now, have we ever looked in a
different direction other than from the perspective of the outward appearance
of reliability? Have we ever looked inwards to assess how we have been reliable
Let’s say that you are the type of person that runs around and makes time for everyone, and you are a person of your word. But consider: Are you reliable to yourself? Have you ever let yourself down? Reliability can range from the most mundane, routine and boring to the most important pressing matters; there are so many ways of being reliable to ourselves in so many ways. Do you brush your hair and brush and floss your teeth on a regular basis? Do you go for routine teeth cleanings or medical checkups? Do you consistently do these things well and on time? Do you keep your promises to yourself, things like promising yourself that you are going to exercise more, or do morning stretches? How about doing your taxes on time, by the deadline? How about starting that project that you have always wanted to start, or finishing the one that you already started? How about the promise you made to find a way to make more money? Or to save up for that item, trip or experience that you have always wanted to have? Have you been reliable to yourself? Can you depend on yourself to take care of you in case of an emergency? How about relying on yourself like obtaining and being able to afford to pay for a divorce or an emergency , making up a will, or signing a power of attorney so someone could speak for you in the event of an emergency?
Or, instead of being reliable to yourself, have you in fact let yourself down? Have you spent all of your resources in support of other people so that you are out of money, feel spent, exhausted, depleted, and unable to provide for yourself? Have you been reliable in a way to others that puts yourself out and makes you unable to take care of or provide for yourself? Does paying your adult child’s bills leave you unable to pay for your current bills, or unable to put money away for your retirement or savings? How about taking care of an elderly person or child? Are you physically able and strong enough care for them? Does taking care of them require that you physically maneuver them in a way that will leave you physically exhausted, in pain, or hurt in some way? Or does being reliable leave you unable to pay your own bills, or unable to give yourself the financial means to do some things you have always wanted to do? Does being reliable take up time and money that you do not have or cannot afford? How about when over the years you had a household full of people who dropped in at the last moment and you constantly cooked for them and served them. Did you forgo looking at your own life in terms of how you were feeling – how your health or energy level was? Perhaps the activities tore you away from tending to projects in your house that you had been meaning to do, or kept you from having or taking the time to plan your whole future.
Where are you now?
Has being reliable truly enriched your life and made you stronger?
The experience or process of being reliable should be one that makes us become even stronger in ourselves, grow deeper in our roots and richer in our experiences, giving us a strong solid foundation from where we can grow stronger and move forward to create and work towards greater endeavors. Reliability should not leave us feel weak, exhausted, depleted, spent, unable to take care of ourselves. That is not the purpose of being reliable. To be reliable in a way that sells ourselves short, that harms us, that is not truly being reliable. If we are reliable in a way that harms ourselves, then we are not truly being reliable to ourselves. And then, it is just a matter of time that we will not be that so-called and perceived reliable person that we had been with others because our foundation will crumble, we will not be on solid ground, we will lose our footing, and then no one will be able to rely on us, including ourselves.
So, in looking ahead, think about yourself in terms of reliability. How are you going to be reliable to yourself, starting today? How have you been failing yourself or not as reliable to yourself as you think should be? The point is not to chide yourself and make yourself feel bad that you have not done for yourself. Rather, the point is to get you to an assessment of how you have not been reliable to yourself, make a plan of how you will do better for yourself, and then move into action.
Being reliable to yourself is all for your well-being: For your life. For your foundation. For your peace and soundness, in body, mind and spirit.
In order to get something that you want in your life that you do not have, you have to step out of your ordinary routine and the regular course of your life. Often this means that you have to either give up something, take new steps or actions, or set a different course for yourself, mentally, physically, spiritually or emotionally.
People often feel that they are stuck in a situation. Sometimes they find themselves reacting out of fear. Sometimes they fear that they are not and never will be good enough. Sometimes they feel they do not have the strength or ability to change. Sometimes they are afraid of failure. Sometimes people are even afraid of success.
People often say that they are doing
just fine with their lives, that things are going well, and that nothing needs
to change. However, upon closer examination, people may see a thing or two, or several
that could stand to improve or change.
It can be a scary thing to change no matter how uncomfortable our current situation is. After all, sometimes it is much more comfortable to stick with the feelings of familiarity, of the familiar daily routine and norms. Even though these familiar and comfortable situations are disruptive and disturbing to one’s sanity peace of mind, (and sometimes even to one’s physical well-being), they, in the end, have a way of simmering back down and can temporarily ignored.
We sometimes find ourselves in these uncomfortable yet familiar situations: Friends, family members, a spouse, colleague, partner, or parent that yells, is disruptive, or is critical or judgmental. A boss that is demanding and unreasonable. Office politics that are tense or filled with corruption. Tons of drama among friends. Cheating, lying, infidelity, and manipulation. People who simply “know it all” and/or are so opinionated to the point that they are unable to hear anyone else’s point of view. People who are “self-righteous” or are just too busy running their mouths and could care less what you or anyone else has to say. Enduring the silent treatment for countless days by a loved one. Waiting patiently for friends or loved ones to respond to your phone calls and attempts to engage with them. Giving your time to someone who is emotionally unavailable or who is not available to be in a relationship with you because they are already committed to someone else. Succumbing to others’ unreasonable demands because it is the “right thing to do” it is “our role” it is “our place” it is the “way to keep the peace.” Putting ourselves out or last so that others can be made to feel comfortable even though they are being excessively demanding or unreasonable. Stifling our voices or way of being because we are too afraid to speak up.
There are other familiar and uncomfortable scenarios of not having one’s finances in order. Being in debt. Not having one’s taxes filed. Not having your spouse or children provided for in the event that you should pass away. Staying with a job that makes us feel uncomfortable. Or, not having your dream job and feeling like you will never be able to obtain one.
There is the familiar and uncomfortable scenario of denying ourselves. Putting off things you want to do until you retire. Putting off that trip you have been wanting to take. Putting off taking that painting class, or learning to play an instrument, or learning something else. Waiting to do something that you have always wanted to do.
There is the scenario of continuing to do familiar and uncomfortable things that make us physically ill. Putting off quitting smoking: you want to quit smoking because the cigarettes are making you sick and cough all the time and feel physically bad including having trouble with your breathing. Continuing to eat that third doughnut, or the second pint of ice cream even though the extra weight on your body is making you sick and creating health problems, putting pressure on your internal organs, bones and joints, and making your blood pressure soar. Continuing to consume exorbitant amounts of sugar or caffeine even though you are getting sick from eating so much and it feels like your heart is racing all of the time.
Sometimes we just stay in these
situations because it feels like it just would be much more painful to walk
away or put our foot down to set our boundaries, then to just remain and keep
the status quo. Somehow it just feels more comfortable to stay in the painful
situation. It is familiar. Sometimes we
just cannot fathom making the change. Sometimes we fear that we will be loved
less or criticized by speaking our truth and setting boundaries. Sometimes we
want the change to happen without having to do anything about it
Some people never do make any kind of changes. They remain stuck and often become physically sick from the constant pressure and struggle. Or they self-medicate with alcohol, drugs, overeating, gambling, or with other addictions. Other people have “help” from the Universe to get out of the situation and become unstuck: perhaps a dramatic situation occurred such as a close brush with death, or another person’s death, that forces people to literally “Do. Or Die.” Sometimes there is a situation that pushes people to the point of being so uncomfortable that they are literally forced to change. Perhaps they almost died or someone they deeply loved died. Or their house burned down. Or they had a car accident. In essence, the dramatic incident was a wakeup call to change.
We often do not change because we are afraid. But, the reality is that we have the power to release our fear of change so that we can create a better reality and way of living for ourselves.
You do not have to settle. You deserve
better in your life and deserve to get what you want. Your life counts. You have to right to be at
peace and to be happy. You do not have
to continue or remain in a situation that you bring you fear or makes you feel uncomfortable. You do not have to continue to believe in
things that were taught to you that are not true and keep you in a state of
fear and afraid.
While it sounds appealing to be
liberated from fear, the very idea of freedom from being fearful and to have
choice in one’s life, can actually be a scary one. Sometimes excuses are made
to remain uncomfortable rather than for us to face our deepest fears. Sometimes
even though we do not want to be afraid, and we are tired of being afraid, we
are too scared to let go of fear and actually feel more comfortable to remain
in a place of fear. The fear of failing in a marriage, or relationship, or
fearing that we will never have a meaningful and loving relationship. Thinking that
we are not good enough. Fearing illness. Fearing running out of money. Losing
your child/parents/ mother/father/partner/spouse or other ones. Fear of being attacked, of planes crashing,
of drowning, of dying.
In order to change we have to let go of something. That could either consist of stopping habits or starting things that bring us good feelings, that we have been meaning to do, and that that we have been wanting to do. Change means that we have to let go of something, a certain part of ourselves has to leave and we have to embrace a new part of ourselves. In essence, the part of us that no longer serves us has to die, and we must let go. After the dying and shedding, there is then an opportunity for new growth and change to occur within ourselves. A caterpillar is an excellent example of change. In order to change, a caterpillar must stop crawling around; instead of crawling, the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly and it is in then able to fly around. We are able to take our cues from the caterpillar and know that we have the ability to change our actions, thoughts, emotions, and feelings. We do have the ability and power to let go of whatever no longer serves us. Through letting go, we create the space for new beginnings, new thoughts, new emotions and new actions to come through into our lives. In that process of letting go and creating new we can view ourselves as letting a part of ourselves die, and then letting ourselves be born into a new reality and existence.
We do not have to be bound by our past, nor our feelings, emotions, actions, nor our life circumstances. We have the ability to let go and to make room for and embrace the new. This process can go on continually in our lifetimes and beyond. Letting go of what no longer serves to make way for the new to create lives where we feel more empowered and more comfortable with the shifts in reality that make our lives better. This is the process of death and rebirth.
Marie-Eleana First, March 2018
Self-judgment is such an important and challenging topic; while it is on many people’s minds, it is often not discussed and/or is suffered through alone and in silence. The condition of being part of the human race means that by our very nature we are not perfect and that we are all bound to make mistakes at some point or other during our lifetimes. For those of us that try hard to achieve quintessential self-perfection, making mistakes can be really upsetting and stifle us in our development as human beings.
Depending on the context, timing and parties involved, these mistakes can take on so many meanings and have so many varying degrees of harmful consequences. And, they can take many forms: Saying hurtful things to a child. Writing a bad check. Stealing. Physically beating someone up. Cheating on an exam. Robbing someone. Destroying someone’s property. Starting an argument. Playing loud music in the middle of the night waking up neighbors. Forgetting or missing a deadline. Dating or marrying a toxic person. Engaging in toxic professional and/or personal relationships. Cheating on your spouse or partner. Making a poor choice or decision. All of these things can be damaging or harmful. Sometimes, depending on the circumstances, they can affect not only the parties involved, but also ripple out onto other people. Sometimes they can have severe and deleterious consequences, profoundly impacting others in unforeseen ways.
The parade of horrible mistakes and misdeeds is endless and can range from annoying to unfortunate, from inconveniencing people, to minor upsets, to wreaking havoc and ruining lives.
Some people never own up to their mistakes nor recognize how their actions have negatively impacted themselves or the people around them.
Some people, on the other hand, are profoundly sorry about what they have perceived they have done wrong. Some people find that they ruminate on their behavior to the point of wallowing in sorrow and regret, rendering them unable to process what happened and to move forward or to learn valuable lessons from their actions or inactions. The process of harboring and harping on oneself can become stifling and debilitating. We can remain for years and years reflecting on these actions in or inactions that caused upset and we also can spend years and years reliving what happened over and over again. Even if we have apologized to those whom we have hurt, were sincerely sorry, expressed our regrets to them, and even if they forgave us, sometimes we still stay in a place of judging ourselves, scolding ourselves, or find ourselves in a constant state of regret. This is called Self-Judgement.
If you are reading this today, you should know that you are on the right track of being able to push through your feelings of self-judgement and letting go (if you have not done so already).
The first part of working through what we regret having done is to recognize that our actions or inactions had a negative impact on ourselves and/or someone else. There are many people in the world who are not able to perceive this; they always make reasons or excuses as to why external things caused them to foist their misdeeds onto others. Rather than refraining from examining your actions, you instead have acknowledged and considered that you had a role in how you acted. Well-done, to do this takes tremendous courage and honesty, good for you. However, while it is excellent to acknowledge what one has done in order to process it, express sorrow, learn from it, and then move on, it is simply unhealthy to remain in a place of regret over it. To stay in a place of regret is a way of judging yourself. Self-judgment is harmful to you because it pulls your vibration down, fills up your box with negativity and does not allow room for brighter and lighter things. Self-judgment is a form of a power-play. It is a form of surrendering of your power, which takes energy from you, and leaves you feeling negative.
The key for over-coming and putting a
stop to self-judgment is to have compassion for yourself. Having compassion for
yourself makes room, and allows for the space to truly look at yourself and
your behavior. Truly examining yourself
in this way, will help you to understand the reasons why you did what you did.
In turn, gaining some perspective on what happened and understanding why, will
allow you to forgive your own-self. Gaining
perspective will help you to acknowledge what happened, and learn something
valuable about yourself from what happened. This is not to say that this will
make right what you did. But forgiving yourself will allow you to detach from
continually blaming yourself, to stop replaying in your mind what you did wrong.
Giving yourself permission to truly look
at yourself in a non-judgmental way, and then to forgive yourself is an act of
self-care. In fact, letting go of self-judgment is an act of behaving
responsibly in your life and in the world. You are empowering yourself by not
letting what happened in the past remain and filter through to what is
happening in your present life. By forgiving yourself and stopping the self-judgment,
you are allowing for transformation to happen within yourself. Releasing the
self-judgment is tantamount to releasing self-destructive behavior. Releasing
the self-judgment is an act of being loving and compassionate with yourself. Releasing
the self-judgment creates room for you to feel better about yourself and the world
around you. In turn, feeling better about yourself ripples out into the world,
helping to make the world a more compassionate and loving place.
As I have said before, compassion for others is so important to myself, to our world, and to our future. It is not an easy practice, but one I try to follow by engaging my heart and embracing all that is around me. Removing unwanted emotions, which are excess baggage, helps me to lighten my load. Compassion is an act of self-care taking out resentment and anger in our bodies that left to linger may contribute to making us become sick. “The….Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has stated that 85 percent of all diseases appear to have an emotional element, but the actual percentage is likely to be even higher.”[i]
As it is the beginning of the new year, compassion is a great way to help me make a fresh start. It is healthy and natural course of events for humans to clear things to make way for the new. We clean and clear our cupboards, closets, drawers, file cabinets, and garages. Why then, not clear the clutter from inside of ourselves, including those emotions that no longer serve us. Compassion is a way to help us do this. If we do not clear and clean then we become full and we do not have room for new things to come into our lives, including the new and joyful.
Think of your body as a box. Hurt builds up in your body. Hurt can be both deliberate and unmeant. If one keeps the hurt inside the body, then the box can fill up and up. If these hurts stay in the body and consciousness, there will be less room or perhaps no room for things like joy, love, happiness and openness. The body fills up and becomes closed, not open. These hurts take time to build up, they do not happen overnight. Perhaps you are saying, no thank you, there is not possible way to let go of things that have hurt you in the past. Somehow, it may feel more satisfying to stay angry and hold a grudge. We want to resist because somehow it can be more satisfying to our egos to hold a grudge. You will never forgive the person who wronged you. Yes, it is more satisfying to hold on to the hatred, to the dislike, to the disdain. However, consider, does holding the bitterness and hatred inside your body mind and spirit help you? Are all of the negative emotions good for your body? Consider that holding these negative emotions put our bodies in a state of dis-ease and that we can become ill from our negative emotions because we are in a state of “dis-ease.”
Let’s take a moment and reflect. How many
years have you lived on this planet Earth? What is your first memory of being
hurt? What has filled up your box and closed it?
Think of the first time that you were wronged or felt you were treated unjustly. They all are significant, and have had deep impacts. Perhaps you were neglected and abandoned by your parents when you were young. Or, perhaps it was the time when you were just a tiny tot and your perceived that your parent favored your sibling over you. Perhaps it was the time you were smacked in the face by an angry parent and it caused your nose to bleed. Or when a classmate stole your brand-new pens and the teacher did nothing to help you or to find the culprit. Perhaps it was the time you found that your girlfriend or boyfriend was cheating on you and betrayed your trust. Perhaps it was when one of your closest friends who you trusted divulged a cherished secret of yours that you had told them in confidence. Perhaps it was your parents refusing to help you with anything. Or perhaps they gave you excessive criticism and no praise and acted always as if you could do nothing right. Perhaps it was a friend who you cared deeply about did not give you the time of day. Perhaps it is someone you love who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, or both. Perhaps you were beaten, abused, molested or raped. Perhaps someone robbed your house, stole from your car, or stole your wallet and used your credit cards. Perhaps you had several or many of these things happen to you. The parade of horribles and atrocities are endless. I encourage for those who have suffered deep traumatic events to seek professional counseling and to not let this trauma go untreated or dealt with if you have not done so already.
Even if you have been in therapy for the trauma and it feels like you have processed it, what I have found is that many of us tend to harbor and fixate on how these terrible incidents harmed us. We remember and hold on to the feelings of how we were simply wronged and hurt without cause or justification. The emotions of anger and resentment can fill us up and feel very heavy and weigh upon us. If we carry around all this bitterness and anger inside of us, then what room do we have to feel other emotions and things? How is weighing our own-selves down going to give us the strength and inspiration to work on the things that we want for ourselves in this life if we are fixated on the past and literally are awash and absorbed in anger and resentment? Simply, it cannot. In keeping our resentments and anger, we are not open, we are closed. We are not light, we are weighed down.
Compassion helps us to let go of these
hurts, and to find within ourselves the forgiveness that was never asked by the
ones who hurt us. And importantly, compassion allows us to forgive ourselves,
for things that we may done to sabotage ourselves, even if they were unintentional.
Having compassion does not mean to gloss over these feelings that we have
acquired from all of these wrongs over the years. Rather, having compassion is
to be able to let the feelings of hurt go, once we have felt, acknowledged, and
processed them. Once our box is emptied, we can then have room to feel other
feelings. Then, being able to feel other feelings will help us learn and grow
more and leave us able to experience emotions like joy and happiness. The beauty and value of having compassion for
others and for ourselves is an act of self-care because we are not letting the
actions of those who have hurt us to continue to weigh us down.
Having compassion is a way to free our
body, mind and spirit so that we can move on and forward, improving our
well-being and the over-all quality of our lives.